A man went to Confession and said to the priest : "Forgive me, Father. I used the F-word this week."
"Ah, my son. Tell me the circumstances which caused you to use the F-word. After all, I can understand a person being provoke into using it."
"Well, I was golfing and I had just hit a beautiful tee-shot that sailed straight as an arrow for 280 yards, but then suddenly sliced into the woods."
"That is when you used the F-word. I can appreciate your frustration, my son, as I am a golfer myself."
"No, I stayed cool at that point, Father. I then hit a perfect shot out of the woods, but suddenly it landed in the sand trap."
"Now, I can understand you saying the F-word at that point."
"No, Father, I was calm even then. I got out my sand wedge and hit a perfect shot out of the trap right at the pin, but suddenly the ball stopped an inch from the cup."
"Ah, that is when you used the F-word. How frustrating."
"No, Father, I was still cool."
"You mean you missed the fucking putt?!?!??!"
